Mine Vows

I have sworn off television, because my 20/20 is faltering.
I have sworn off beer, because it does not seem right to me
to spend Social Security in getting high.
I have sworn off drugs, because I have no stomach
for supporting the Mexican cartel. I have sworn off sex
for want of drive to mix body juices with them of maybe dubious reputation.
I have sworn off preachers, lawyers and doctors, because they are con men all.
I have sworn off friends, because I have none that I know of.

Only the internet, have I not sworn off, because here I am virtual,
here I am invisible. No one knows for sure if I'm man or woman,
atheist, catholic, former nazi or communist.
I am the verses I write, and it thrills me
to have such handy excuse for the perpetuation of ego.