My eye lids droop
My nose is soup spoon-shaped
Only my lips are not distorted
I'm hunchback and have the hairiest arms
of any man and woman I've ever seen
My toe nails are claws, literally.
Born humble and raised course
I'm wanting in social graces
I dropped out of school in the third grade
Still, I am endowed with an unique gift
I can murder without so much as lifting a finger
I kill slowly but surely by thought transmission
In my defense (not that the law can arrest me
nor any court in the land indict me)
I never execute a bastard without ample justification.
Nor do I mean to boast in stating the following: From age 11 to the present
my victims could fill a medium size church cemetery.
Again, in my defense: I drink only vodka straight and am a vegetarian.
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