Ding Dongs and Cling Clangs

It may seem strange, it may seem weird,
but in the language of  the Ding Dongs,
there was no word for "problem."

Ding Dongs simply lived "situations" of  common,  every day resolutions,
If a buck from a neighboring village stole your goat
or deflowered your daughter, you'd form a raiding party
and  pillage the delinquent's country.  No mercy to babies nor elders.
This was the Ding Dong's " Rule of The Spear."  Give unto others
to a deeper penetration than they give unto you.

If on the other hand, an extended dry spell occurred,
the Ding Dongs shouted and stomped the ground in dance
till the Celestial Hoser turned on.

Yep, our Ancestors had no words for problems of any kind ---
that is until the goddamn Cling Clangs arrived. Cling should mean "Polemic"
Clang should mean " a pain in the ass."
First, the Pains  labeled  us "inferior race."
Heck, who knew we were a race ?
We thought by "race" was meant a sport.

Then, the Cling Clang had a problem with Ding Dong dress.
They felt we should clothes in wool rather than in beads and feathers
our traditional Ding Dong cover..

Following the problems with race and feathers,
the Kling Klangs had a problem with that we played more than we worked.  
They were they were the ones chasing sheep all over the country, should we
be feeling guilty the fish in the coral were fighting to jump into our cookouts?
Add to this, the Kling Klangs  were multiplying like rabbits,
a rodent brought from Rope Land, the home land they call Europe.

You know what just occurred on me?
the  Klangers cover their bodies,
because au natural they look like pigs.

In short, we Dons got  the short end of a long stick.
Our mothers were put to slave in Klingon  kitchens.
Our pretty girls went to work in Kingdom brothels,
and in no small number died of syphillis.
And we, sons and daughters of those early cooks and butlers
were taught to worship the Holy Klan Man on A Stick.

Understand, that in Ding Dong culture,
men on sticks were  not worshiped but were prisoners of war,
who were floated down river after trial by barbecue

That's how the marshmallow chews
That's why it's called His-Story.