Enterprise once thrived in Swaggerville
before ambition hopped a bus
its young headed for other haunts
a common affliction in middle America
first arthritis, then dementia
before you know it, the town's a bust
Jeremy Wayland is holding fast
Where he is is where he's at
What would he do New York?
Nobody greets you with a "howdy" there
What would he do in California?
Hollywood and the Vatican are the Great Harlots
So preaches the Reverend Fillmore Hightower
at First Baptist
Jeremy is the third generation to run the family business
Wayland's Barbecue on Main Street, a Texas eating tradition
Doesn't make a helluva lot of money. No liens on it, either
One day, Jeremy has an ass kickin' epiphany
Why not celebrate Swaggerville, its quirkiness, its swagger?
We're a nation of little towns, aren't we?
And little towns are little heavens and awfully cute
Come one, come all. Everyone's invited; who can yodel
who can juggle, who can make you wanna piss
"Saturday Nite at Wayland's - The Talent Show"
Barbecue up the kazoo, every five drinks gets you two,
During which time Jeremy shoots a documentary -
"Swaggerville, Bluster and Braggarts,"
an immediate cult success
Jeremy Cricket Wayland...
last seen on Hollywood and Vine,
living his dreams in living color
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