We Sentence You To Write

To tell the truth, I write a little better than I speak.

Convention and verbal intercourse
leaves me little room to hide.
An utterly silent citizen is not beyond suspicion.
Certainly, not beyond reproach.
As I am neither preacher, lawyer or politician,
I prefer to speak only when spoken to.
But write I must forever
or risk losing more gray matter
than I've already lost.

To say it right,
when I write, I do not stutter.
But when I talk, I draw a blank.

Writing,
on the other hand, is therapeutic and long suffering,
and best of all, slight of hand.
Writing does not impose impossible rules,
nor impossible time constraints.
Take a year to compose a sentence.
Take ten if you think its crap.
What's the rush, amigo!
There will always be readers.
As to listeners they can sue you.
Just let their patience run out.

The written rules of grammar, indeed, empower.
Ignore them or break them if you like,
especially if you're rhyming.
Not so when you speak.
Proper delivery hath priority
over matter of heart and mind.

When I'm gabbing, I'm easily spooked,
but when I'm blogging,
I'll only give you enough to tease you,
and never rope with which to lynch me.
When I write, I could be Buddha.
At dinner parties, I suddenly turn Woody Allen.

When I attempt to speak convincingly,
good conscience warns me,
"Hush, they'll think you're with Bin Laden."

When I write, however, I'm the man!
Good conscience takes off her mask.
Tells me that if she's not my sister,
she's got to be my long lost lover.

Ms Write is right!
What's written is written.
She who guides my hand,
further admonishes me to cut it straight.
Polite is for the birds.
If it's polite you want to be,
turn to The Book of Etiquette by Frederick Hanson;
Chapter 17, verses 1 through 33
On The Whys and Hows of When to lie,
and make it sound as if you mean it.